


1,2,3, Action!

by runningfromrealitytoanime



Series: SakuAtsu random fluff [18]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad medical jokes, M/M, Most of them are in theatre, Musical References, sakusa is a doctor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27859105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningfromrealitytoanime/pseuds/runningfromrealitytoanime
Summary: What happens when a theatre student decides to bring two of the most different professors together?Drama and chaos.A lot of bad medical jokes and theatre related flirting.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: SakuAtsu random fluff [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1692871
Comments: 3
Kudos: 117





	1,2,3, Action!

**Author's Note:**

> I keep thinking of what kind of random medical jokes would be hilarious and I ended searching for about half an hour and ended up writing this. Always thought Doctor and professor Sakusa would be super hot and theatre professor Atsumu, dang.
> 
> Anyways, Hinata tries to play cupid here and lots of shit ensues.
> 
> I don't even know how I managed to write this but enjoy!

“Neh neh, Bokuto-san?” Hinata hisses as he nudges his seatmate under the table. The owlish student grunts as he slowly wakes up from his nap, having had just skipped out the entirety of his entire “Theatre” class.

“Wait, what did I miss? Wah… what time is it?”

“Come on Bokuto-san! Its’ been the fifth time this week you’ve slept in Atsumu-sensei’s class!”

“Fifth time.. doesn’t that mean I have been sleeping in every single day?” Hinata groans as he tries not to face palm himself before moving to grab the owl and make his head turn to where the theatre professor was standing at the front. The man was trying to ignore a certain medical professor lurking at the door, many of the students moving to avoid him since he was emitting the aura of the grim reaper. Even Atsuumu seemed to be slightly threatened by the man, sweat beading down his neck as Hinata hisses.

“Don’t you think its fishy that Sakusa-sensei has been coming in all week?”

“Other than the fact that he is in an entirely different department?”

“Don’t you think that maybe they could be… ouch!” Hinata yelps as a book collides with the back of his head from the back. One Kageyama Tobio, their star actor and also the person with the worse social skills in existence growls back.

“Don’t be stupid! Atsumu-sensei would not fall for someone as morbid as Sakusa-sensei who spends more time dissecting corpses than dealing with human beings!”

“Just because you haven’t gotten over your stupid crush over him doesn’t mean that he isn’t up for grabs!” Hinata snaps as Bokuto pulls them apart before they could break each other’s necks.

“Hey hey hey calm down alright! What is this thing about who liking who?” Hinata and Kageyama gave a collective sigh as they finally stood up and hauled the owl out of their class and to one of the picnic tables littering the green space of their university. MSBY University was one of the best universities in the country and it had both the best medical and theatre department. Most of the best actors in the country who had gone on to become A list stars in Hollywood had graduated from there, one of them being the famous Oikawa Tooru, said to be the Brad Pitt of Japan and Miya Atsumu, theatre extraordinaire who has performed in West End and Broadway ever since he was 15.

“So you’re telling me one of them has the hots for each other?” Bokuto asks slowly, insinuating each of his words as Hinata nods. The tangerine called himself the Aphrodite of the university since he had managed to get most of his best friends together with their crushes. That didn’t mean he himself had managed to figure out his complicated feelings with Kageyama (although Bokuto thought it would be more entertaining to see them bicker their way to being lovers than point out the obvious).

“I’m pretty sure they do. I tracked down Atsumu-sensei…”

“You mean stalk him?” Kageyama points out as he receives a kick in the shin by Hinata.

“Anyways, I saw him and Sakusa-sensei of all people having lunch! I swear I actually heard Atsumu-sensei calling him a nickname and no one calls each other a nickname unless they like each other!”

“But I call you boke all the time! Isn’t that a nickname and I don’t even like you!”

“That’s more of an insult, Bakayama!”

“Ok chill out you two lovebirds!”

“We don’t love each other, Bokuto-san!” the two snapped at once as Bokuto pinched his nose, “So you’re saying that they like each other. What do you even want to do about it? Its not like you can go waltzing around trying to hint to them that they like…. Oh….” The grin on Hinata’s face was enough to tell the owl that the tangerine had a plan up his sleeve, one that probably involved possibly bringing two of the most polar opposite professors in existence together for their happily ever after or have a full-blown war between the science and arts department.

“Leave it to me. they don’t call me the Aphrodite of MSBY University for nothing,” Hinata grins.

….

Atsumu yawns as he steps into his lecture room, the blonde wishing he hadn’t stayed up all night rewatching various versions of Les Miserables for kicks. He dumps his books onto the table when he notices a single note on the table with handwriting that looked very familiar. He picks it up just as the first of his students began swarming into the room, the professor reading the note as he tried to adjust his glasses to see if he had read it right.

“I dreamed a dream of a time gone by. Do you hear the people sing of the song of our love? Shall we break down the barricades and join in the crusade?” Hinata carefully observes as the professor slowly put down the letter and picked up his phone, pressing onto the screen before bringing it to his ear. The person on the other end answers almost immediately, their bored voice slightly audible as Hinata cranes to hear it.

“What do you want? Don’t you have class in…”

“Omi!!! Why the hell didn’t you tell me you’ve watched Les Miserables?! I’ve been trying to get you to watch it for ages!!! What do you think of it! do you think its amazing! What do you think of Cosette’s and Marius’s love?! Do you think that their love is super sweet or that… Oi!!! You prickly sea urchin! Don’t ya hang up on me!” Atsumu yells as the whole class goes quiet, watching as their lecturer pockets his phone and turns to face the class.

“Sorry about that. Now, how about we talk about the Phantom of the Opera today?”

…

Professor Sakusa groans as he slides off the bloody pair of gloves. The smell of medicine filled the room, the man trying his best not to get whatever bits of dead human guts that had splashed onto his labcoat touch him as he slowly removed it from his shoulders. He made a note to wash his hands for a solid 10 minutes and even go for a shower afterwards just to make sure, not caring if Atsumu would be wailing about him being late for lunch.

Once he stepped out of the showers provided for the professors (that had been one of the main reasons he chose MSBY University), he made his way into his office to see a small note having been placed on the table. He picks it up, slowly as he opens it to see familiar handwriting written across it. He swore the person must have had the worse of pick up lines as he reads it.

“Say you’ll share with me one love one lifetime? For you are my angel of music, my guide, my guardian. And also we have gone past the point of no return, the final threshold what warm unspoken secrets will we learn? You have brought me to that moment when words run dry, to that moment when speech disappears…”

Sakusa balls up the letter and tosses it into the trashcan, his blush spreading as quickly he thought he would pass out. He snatches his coat and runs out of the office, trying to think about how someone had managed to catch him doing it with someone he absolutely didn’t want to be seen with.

…

Atsumu almost groans when he sees yet another letter on his desk. He had been getting a heck ton of weird messages recently and all of them had been medically related. He didn’t know if this person was just a medical enthusiast and that it wouldn’t do much to bend him over since he was a theatre person through and through. Atsumu decides to indulge the person one last time as he reads the paper, his eyes almost popping out of his sockets as he reads.

“You must be a preventriculation contraction. Because you make my heart skip a beat. How about I listen to your heart now, Sir Patient and listen to your heart pouring its beats through my ear?” Atsumu nearly collapses into his chair as he reads it, his face turning red.

How the hell did anyone know he had a doctor roleplay kink?!

…

“Look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit, I’m helpless. Down for the count and I’m drowning in ‘em. I think your pants look hot, I like you a lot. When you walked in the room, my heart went boom. I know I don’t have a dollar to my name, an acre of land, a troop to command and dollop of fame.”

“Really?! What the hell!” Sakusa growls as he chucks the letter into his drawer, now being filled to the brim with the dozens of love letters he had gotten from a person he was very sure he knew was after him.

…

“You’ll always have a place in my right ventricle. And haven’t I told you that im you were a lymphocyte, I’d reckoned you would be a natural killer?”

“Holy shit, how cheesy can someone get?” Atsumu groans as he stuffs the letter into the box stuffed under his desk. Osamu, his twin and professor in the History department found it hilarious how his brother was harbouring each of the love letters like a teenager crushing on someone.

…

“Do you wanna build a snowman? Come on let’s go and play. I never see you anymore, come out of the door. Its like you’ve gone away. We used to be best buddies, and now we’re not. I wish you would tell me why. Do you wanna build a snowman? It doesn’t have to be a snowman.”

“Oh go away,” Sakusa groans as he chucks the letter into his desk.

…

“You must have a fever because you’re super hot. Don’t stress about pharmacology. Love is the only drug we’ll need.”

“What the hell? That’s actually quite accurate.” Atsumu grunts.

…

“Mamma mia. Here we go again, my my, how can I resist you?”

“Do your research dammit. I hate that movie,” Sakusa growls.

…

Propranalol’s red, digozin is blue, my heart skips a beat when I see you.”

“The heck is pro... lol... no... and di… how do you pronounce it?” Atsumu wails as he makes a note to look up more medical jargon once he gets home from work.

…

“For the first time in forever, love is an open door! Let it go! Let it go, cuz I cannot hold it back anymore. You don’t have to be afraid from the storm swirling inside of you!”

“Frozen… why does it have to be Frozen?”

…

“What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-oh acid.”

“I think Kuroo would like this,” Atsumu mutters as he snaps a picture of the letter and sends it to the medical professor.

What the heck was the damn thing that looked like a caterpillar gone wrong drawn on the letter?!

…

“And can you feel the love tonight, it is where we are. Its enough for this wide eyes wanderer, that we’ve got this far? Somewhere in my secret heart, I know love will find a way.”

“Hey, Sakusa! Why are you crying?!” Kuroo yelps as the professor wiped his eyes with the edge of his sleeve.

“I liked Lion King. Oh shit, I just remembered the scene where Mufasa got pushed off the cliff and says to Simba “remember who you are.”

“Why the hell are you even thinking that when you have a freaking deadly diseases class in five minutes?!”

…

“Feel my arm. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.”

“What happened? Cat got your tongue now, Tsumu?” Osamu asks as he watches his brother slumped over his desk, his face so red that it went down all the way to his arms as he mutters.

“Thou must not think of it now. Thou must not think of it now.”

…

“I can show you the world, shining shimmering splendid. Tell me, Prince Kiyoomi when you last let your heart decide. I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder, over side ways and under on a magic carpet ride. A whole new world....”

“Dude. Why are you singing "A whole new world" when you’re sewing up someone’s intestines?” Kuroo wonders out loud as Sakusa hums to himself, hands stitching the organ as he thinks of flying on a magic carpet.

…

“Oh, you need dopamine and serotonin? Here, let me stab it into you.”

“Atsumu-sensei?!” Suga sensei, Professor of Ballet screeches as Atsumu lays slumped over his desk, his soul having risen to the heavens.

“Suga-sensei, tell my class I won’t be able to make it…”

“Now isn’t the time to act dramatic! Get to your class! I don’t care if you can't control your damn hormones! You ain't a horny teenager anymore! Shoo!”

…

“Hey Hinata! Are you sure you aren’t making things more awkward for them? Haven’t you noticed that Sakusa-sensei hasn’t even been stopping by these days ever since you sent those letters?” Bokuto hissed as they ran across the stage. Today, they were going to have a practice run of Hamilton. Somehow Hinata managed to get the role of Eliza and Kageyama as Hamilton (Bokuto was pretty sure the entirety of the class, including Atsumu-sensei had rigged it so that the two would be forced to kiss and marry on stage period). Hinata was groaning as he tried to pull himself into the dress, cursing about having to wear it when Kageyama stopped in his tracks. The blue-eyed boy was wearing his costume as well, Hinata turning red as he sees him gawking at him.

Bokuto slowly helps his friend to close his dropped jaw as Kageyama finally finds his voice, “Atsumu-sensei is calling us up front. Get going.” He walks out before Hinata could say anything, the tangerine groaning as he picks up his skirts and walks out onto the stage. He nearly stops when he sees one masked man sitting in the empty seats, his arms crossed as Bokuto gawks.

“What the hell is Sakusa-sensei doing in a musical practice?”

“Beats me,” Hinata murmurs as Atsumu claps his hands, a smirk on his lips as he spoke.

“Alright folks! I have an announcement to make! We will be having a special guest today watching us rehearse today, Professor Sakusa Kiyoomi. I’m sure you all remember him being the prickly sea urchin lurking outside our classroom for a while.” Sakusa all but sinks lower into his seat, Atsumu chuckling as he grins.

“Now then, I am sure you all are aware of the numerous letters I have been receiving from a certain someone.” Hinata holds his breath as Atsumu smirks, his eyes zoning in on the tangerine as he grins.

“Sakusa-sensei has also encountered such a problem. While I do appreciate that some of the jokes are a little bit.. provocative and… amusing, we are beginning to feel that it is time for us to reveal the truth.”

“We?” Bokuto muses as Atsumu raises his right hand, a golden band glittering on his finger as Hinata squawks, “He’s married?!”

“Specifically, I’m married to Omi,” Atsumu grins as Sakusa all but disappears into the darkness of the seats. The only thing visible now was the top of his head as the students gasped, most of them having thought Atsumu was the most eligible bachelor in the department as the lecturer places a finger to his lips.

“Let’s keep that a secret, shall we?” He claps his hands, signalling everyone to get into place. As Hinata hurries past him, he grabs his arm and yanks him aside, the fox like grin sharp enough to kill as Hinata gulps.

“I appreciate you trying to bring us together, Shou-kun but next time, please avoid writing lyrics from musicals and medical jokes from the internet that might cause one of us to pop during class.” He pats the theatre student’s head as Hinata almost melts, Atsumu calling out to him before he steps onto the stage.

“And I expect both of you to kiss on the lips! And I mean kiss with meaning and passion. If not, I will make sure you will be failing this course!”  
  


So much for Hinata trying to bring the two professors together.

**Author's Note:**

> Dammit I feel so embarassed about all the jokes I wrote here holy shit...
> 
> All comments and kudos are appreciated and welcomed! They really make my day!


End file.
